probably my most unpopular opinion is that I just don’t care whether men learn to cry or whatever. like, at all. not even if I like them, really. I used to but I’ve burnt out completely. when I say this it really horrifies people. but I see the injunction to care about whether men learn to get in touch with their emotions as just another extension of some emotional caretaker girl role. I just can’t deal with the layers of irony in being expected to participate energetically and approvingly in conversations about how men are learning to open up about their emotions, rather than leave the work of drawing them out to the women in their life.
also I find the idea that men find it inherently hard to talk about feelings ridiculous. I have rarely been at the receiving end of a truly whiny and burdensome FEELINGS monologue that was not from a dude and my social sphere is like 80% female so that’s saying something. they seem to find it hard to talk about their feelings in a way that is honest and respectful and productive and not manipulative but that is not the same thing as finding it hard to “express emotions” per se, and I really do not need people telling them that expressing their feelings is an inherently feminist act.
obviously in some contexts men may have trouble expressing emotions/may feel ashamed of their emotions/may repress their emotions. & some of this is because of gender roles. but like. the idea that any of this is unique to men or that they even experience it especially strongly is flat-out laughable. and if you’re reading this being all like “wow, this is really passive-aggressive and bitter, chick needs to learn how to handle her rage” THEN CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE PROVEN MY POINT.
relevant
how is this an unpopular opinion? one true opinion for life.
also shit like going to the doctor, looking after their health. shit lots of women are bad with that shit too. sorry boyz.
All of the above, and I would add that men dumping their feelings on me like that often comes with the implication that I am at least partially responsible for fixing it. I mean, it literally leaves me feeling like a mom who’s comforting her little boy or some shit, because you cannot rely on them to learn or take responsibility for their shit. They just want cuddles and and talks about what a special person they are. It’s definitely something that can be emotionally manipulative and abusive, and if you have been in an abusive relationship, it’s very familiar and particularly draining.
yeah there are several dudes I know who basically act like women are infinite feelings-sinks; they get really offended if you tell them you are having an emotional reaction to their expressions of their feelz. it’s dangerous, it’s presumptuous and shitty and unbalanced and irresponsible
